Remembering Charles

This is the third blog by this writer, the title of which begins with "Remembering."  It is also the most difficult, even though the end of this life's journey was more evident to me than most.  In other words, it was obvious that the end of this little stop along the continuum of eternity was near.  Still, as much as one thinks one has made peace with what is to come, when the news comes, one is never quite ready.  Hence, the jolt.

This writing, however, is not about the loss of the man who had such a profound impact on this writer, but about some of the many treasures that are his legacy.  A few of the lessons he taught by way of action more so than spewing verbiage, are what will be shared in this blog.

PEACEFUL DECORUM:  He did not raise his voice in anger, and would not engage in any discussion, even in conflict, in angry or agitated tones.  

APPEARANCES MATTER:  Even when it was no longer the norm to wear a suit and tie to work, he did so every day to set an example to the boys in his charge, of how to dress properly.

DISCIPLINE IS AN ACT OF LOVE:   After counseling/disciplining a child, he would pat him on the back and say "I love you, man."   When queried about this, he replied, "they need to know that somebody loves them."

LEADERSHIP:  As a supervisor he employed collaborative and situational leadership styles rather than dictated to his subordinates.    He believed that bringing out the best in people is easier when they are treated as who they are:  God’s creations, worthy of basic human respect and dignity.   And he believed that it is as important to know when and how much to flex and pull as it is to push and challenge.

COMMITMENT:  For more than half of his life, he served one body of believers in music ministry and eschewed all overtures to leave that family of God for any reason, including greater pecuniary gain.  In fact, he confided that he would not leave for any reason.   In his music ministry, he was not so much concerned about doing the top 10 as he was preparing music for worship that would help folks see Jesus.

FATHERHOOD:   Charles was a real father.  He did as much to nurture and care for my daughter as I did; and in many instances, even more.  He read to her, read with her, talked with her (not at her), investigated and chose schools, spent meaningful time with her at home and on vacations, shared his faith, and encouraged her and cheered her on in every way possible.  And because he was a real father, I have a genuinely wonderful Sweet Pea, who is a reflection of her father in so many ways.

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL:    Despite decades of physical pain, Charles had joy.  Because he had Jesus.  Rather than wish that more could be like him, I am sure he would encourage all to find the joy that he had.  That joy is available to all.  That joy is why I dare hope to see him again.