Thursday, March 5, 2015

This is My Prayer


Today I met a 33-year-old woman who has two children by a married man. I am told that it was while she was pregnant with the second child that she learned the man was already married, and so she left him. I had to tell her that she did not qualify for help with paying for health insurance because her income was too low, and that she did not qualify for Medicaid because she was too young. She told me about her income, and I asked if she planned on going to work, to which she replied she could not work, that she has never worked. She appeared to be in good health, but remembering how ticked I get when people tell me I look "alright" I asked if she had a condition that kept her from working and she told me that she was "slow." 
 
Me:  But you can do something, can't you? Surely there is something you can do to earn an income
 
Her:  No, I’m just slow.
 
Me:  Well, maybe it takes you longer to learn something, but does that mean you cannot?
 
Her:  Well they said I was slow and I can’t do anything. Any way if I work I’ll lose my benefits?
 
Me:  What benefits?
 
Her:  SSI
 
Me:  And how much is that?
 
Her:  $648 a month.
 
Me:  What else do you get?
 
Her:  That’s it. And child support.
 
Me:  And how much is that?
 
Her:  $294 a month.
 
Me:  Don’t you think you’re worth more than $648 a month? What if you could make $1296 a month? Wouldn’t you be better off?
 
Her:  And they already took some of my money.
 
Me:  What money of yours did ‘they’ take. You haven’t earned any money! Don’t you want to be free to earn your own money?
 
No response.
 
When I took a really good like at her, I saw a hollow, depressed, broken, hopeless soul. I had no idea how she came to be so, but it hurt me to my core. Part of me wanted to scream, and the other part wanted to cry. I cannot help but speculate that from an early age she was indoctrinated to believe she had nothing of value and could do nothing of value. I would like to meet the people who gave her the foundation to imprison herself for life.
 
God did not create you to have nothing to do or nothing to offer. If you ever decide you want to do something with your life, I will do whatever I can to help you find a way.
 
In my work I meet people of all socio-economic ilks.  On the one hand, I have visited well-cared for homes, modest and absolutely opulent, and on the other hand, one so infested that it caused me to stand.  (I explained that my knees were bothering me and the seat was kind of low, so it wasn't blatant lie.)  I have met young adults whose sour attitudes and "I-want-isms" made me envision slapping them, while that voice in my right ear (yep, I hear voices) chided me about passing judgment. And I have met folks whose lives, after decades of work and responsible living, have been challenged and stifled by lost retirement funds and chronic illnesses, and whose level-headed and gracious manner made my work easy, even when bearing not-so-good news.
 
Until I met that 33-year-old, I thought I had seen it all. I am haunted by her visage. And I pray she will find the will to leave her prison and embrace the good, bad and ugly of life – its joys, sorrows, failures and successes. I have no idea how I can help someone so enslaved. And I pray that she will call, and when she does, He will show me a way.
 
This is my prayer.

1 comment:

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