Real Dads of the Darker Nation Pt III

I recently met a man who has two children -- a son and a daughter. He refers to them freely in those terms: my son . . . my daughter. What I later learned was that he fathered neither of his children in the biological sense. Yet he raised them as his own and in every meaningful sense of the word, he fathered them.

So what is fathering all about? Do we ask that about mothering? I think not -- at least not as often. Many think of fathers as the go-to guy for money and things -- stuff. Sadly, many women who intentionally allow themselves to be impregnated don't have a clue as to the significance their Johnny Appleseed should play in their children's lives. And as sad, many men who plant those seeds think of the products of their acts as nothing more than notches on a bedpost, something that gives them bragging rights. What utter rubbish. But, as usual, I digress; moving right along . . .

The man of whom I write today reminds me of my own daughter's father, right down to his choosing the right schools -- even the ones that our tax dollars don't fund and require a hefty outlay of cash. He has been with them for all of the joys and sorrows, and triumphs and tragedies of their childhood. He was not just the go-to guy for money and stuff, but for encouragement, assurance, discipline and love.

He has been Father to them for 25 years of their 30-plus-year-old lives. I wonder if they realize how special that is? I wonder do they realize he is so much more their real father than their real father. I wonder if they make the distinction? I don't know, but these are my hopes and the substance of my prayer for them -- and him: that if they don't know now, they will soon realize that he carried them as his children as God carried the Israelites into their Promised Land; that he sacrificed for them as any father who loves and cares for his children would do -- as my father did for me and my daughter's father did for her; that the father they had and have in him was and is their blessing from God.

And while the world might say blood is thicker than water, it is water that brings refreshment and life wherever it goes. In their childhood they drank freely from the fountain of his fathering. As adults, may they remember the depth of his love for them. He chose to father them. There was no trickery or deceit -- no surprise or blaming faulty contraceptive drugs or devices. It was simply a choice. He could have chosen to walk away -- that would have been easy. But instead he chose to take them as his own, to love them. And by doing so he willingly exposed himself to not just the joys and triumphs of fatherhood, but the sorrows and tragedies as well.

To all men everywhere who are fathers to children of their seed or another's, who choose to take on the challenging responsibility of fatherhood in meaningful, tangible and intangible ways -- HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.